So, I got up early this morning with the best of intentions and a long list of things-to-do. I climbed from the haze of last night’s ‘Sherlock Holmes Two’ disappointment and subsequent one-too-many gin and tonics, and stumbled downstairs while the family slept the sleep of the dead. Feeling very pleased with myself I was fully focused on answering my huge backlog of fan mails ( NOT DONE. I’M SO SORRY) and all the new subscriptions to the Moorehawke newsletter that I’ve (once again) put on the long finger (NOT DONE. SOON I PROMISE) I also intended answering two ‘how do I fix this about my writing queries’ from ex-pupils who must at this stage think I’m dead, and also drawing a bookplate for a fan I simply couldn’t turn down ( NOT DONE. also THIS WILL BE THE LAST ONE. I SWEAR IT!!!)
Added to this I had very high hopes of tweaking the first 33 thousand words of the new book followed by a careful reading of the notes for the Victorian novel which we hope to begin editorial work on soon.
HA. Fate laughs in the face of all mankind’s hopes and dreams.
What did I end up doing instead? Well… firstly I stumbled down into a mess of apocalyptic proportions. Seriously – not since the house was taken over by hoards of my son’s metal-head friends have I seen such chaos ( and this time there were no obliging shaggy headed young men to sweep everything into piles and neatly line beer bottle filled bin bags against the garden wall.) So … an hour and half’s worth of stacking, dishwasher emptying, dishwasher filling, floor sweeping, floor scrubbing, surface cleaning, surface polishing, clothes -picking-up-and-putting-in-washer etc etc etc followed. After which I sat down in the now sparkling, lemony fresh, winter-sunshine filled kitchen and opened my laptop.
I set my inbox to ‘sent by’ and dutifully answered fanmail #1. Very please with myself I then open an e-mail from my much loved Australian editor. And what was in that e-mail? Why a link. A link to what? A link to cracked.com’s 11 most Unintentionally Creepy Christmas Ornaments. Which I clicked. And that is why I haven’t got my homework done for today, sir.
Cracked.com, I hate and adore you. You are the internet’s strongest form of heroin and I am a slave to your spell. You will be the reason my children wear cardboard shoes and we all end up living under a bridge.
Needless to say everyone else is now up and mooching about and they have distracted me entirely from any activity more taxing than lolling on sofas and watching tv. Before I slip into this the most comfortable of comas let me just say two things,
ONE: Thank you so much to the lovely Estara.
Estara is a German fan of the Moorehawke trilogy who – having noticed my goodreads review of Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet’s Gnomes posted me her own copy of Rien Poortvliet’s beautiful beautiful Noah’s Ark. Isn’t that just a lovely thing to do? Thank you so much, Estara. I LOVE Poortvliet’s work, it has given me a huge amount of pleasure just sitting and leafing through his glorious paintings over the holiday. Look how happy it has made me…
Thank you to Polish reviewer Edith Mi who did a lengthy interview with me earlier this year and then painstakingly translated it to Polish for the website ‘Paranormalbooks’. I don’t want to distract traffic from the Polish site, and I know that google will do its very best to translate the interview back to English should any of ye want to read it (though I must confess, google ‘translations’ can be a little hilarious) But I’ll see what I can do about eventually linking to an English translation. Edith is a terrific interviewer and asked some really intelligent questions. I’d love to get the chance to share. EDITED TO SAY: The lovely Edith has put up an English translation. Thank you so much, Edith!
And that’s it… the full extent of my laughable attempt to be productive for today. A photo of a hungover cat, me clutching a beautiful book and a shelob cocooned baby Jesus. My work here is done.